Seven of Life's Biggest Challenges

from Michael Dale Kimmel of Life Beyond Therapy: It's not possible to go through life without dealing with challenges/problems/difficulties. The question isn't: "Will you have to deal with them?" The question is: "How will you handle them when they're in your face?"

As a psychotherapist for about twenty-five years, - and someone who's had years of good psychotherapy myself - I'd like to mention seven of life's biggest challenges - as I see them - and how effective psychotherapy/counseling can be helpful in working them through.

1. Have you recently married or divorced? Moved to a new city? Made a major career change? Undergone major surgery or just found out you have a significant physical illness? Important life changes can rock our world in so many ways: forcing us to face issues we've long avoided and pushing us to question long-assumed roles, rules, responsibilities and relationships. Psychotherapy is one way to cope with big changes and to clarify what we want during and after dramatic life events.
2. Have family, friends or co-workers mentioned that they're worried or concerned about you? Have you received feedback that you don't seem yourself lately or that your behavior is worrying to people who care about you? If so, please consider this a possible wake-up call. If others have commented or asked about your wellbeing, therapy could give you a safe place to take a good, long look at yourself and see what's really going on with you.
3. Do you feel bad about yourself much of the time? Are you your own worst enemy, harshly judging yourself? Psychotherapy can help you free yourself from chronic self-criticism and -attack. Through a trusting relationship with a skilled and empathic therapist, you can learn to challenge and change your negative assumptions about yourself and develop a more positive and realistic sense of self.
4. Does your life feel dry, flat or routine? Do you often feel that you're just going through the motions, doing life's daily tasks with little pleasure or satisfaction? Have you lost touch with the hopes and dreams that used to motivate and inspire you? Maybe it's time to take a deeper look at yourself and your priorities. Therapy can be a place to chart a new course for your life. Wouldn't it be great to feel joy and enthusiasm again?
5. Does anxiety keep you from engaging in activities that would be pleasurable or profitable? A trained counselor can help you discern the sources of negative mood and explore various approaches to managing your worry/anxiety/fears and feeling better.
6. Do you chronically get into power struggles with your bosses or repeatedly end up with romantic partners who betray or undermine you? Do you have patterns of under-achievement? If, despite repeated attempts to think about and change distressing patterns, you find yourself still repeating them, it may be time to discuss them with a therapist and discover ways to break old dysfunctional patterns.
7. Do you "blow up" or lose your temper so that it threatens important projects or relationships? Are you often so "low" that you're unable to motivate yourself to act in your own behalf?

Psychotherapy/counseling isn't really a "cure" as much as it is an opportunity to learn new ways of living, thinking and being.

Breaking old patterns/habits isn't easy, most of us can't do it alone. Why not get some expert help the next time you're dealing with a chronic situation that keeps you stuck?

Therapy isn't a magic trick that makes bad things go away, but it can give you the ability to cope in a new and healthy way and feel better about yourself.

When you hit some of life's biggest challenges, why not get some help and give it a try?

About the Author

Michael Dale Kimmel I am a California-licensed psychotherapist (LCSW 20738). With over twenty-five years of counseling experience, I bring warmth, practical insight and a healthy sense of humor to my practice.