Sometimes Friends Are the First to Know
from SafeNet
Are you concerned that a friend is in an abusive relationship? Maybe you are reluctant to hurt your friendship by asking questions, even though you have heard yelling, witnessed tears, or noticed unexplained bruises. You don't want to invade their privacy. If your friend needs help, they'll ask for it, right? Maybe. Or maybe they are waiting to be asked, hoping you will be the one to start the difficult conversation.
Abusive relationships are complex, and abusive partners deliberately make it difficult for victims to leave. Your friend could be experiencing trauma. They might feel responsible for making their partner angry. They don't realize they are the victim of abuse. Perhaps they've been isolated from the support of family and friends. Maybe they love their partner and want the abuse to stop, not the relationship.
Here are ways you can help:
- Don't be afraid to reach out. Tell them you are concerned for their safety and want to help.
- Be supportive, available, and patient.
- Acknowledge their feelings and respect their decisions.
- LISTEN.
- Affirm that abuse is not "normal" and it is not their fault.
- Affirm that everyone deserves a healthy, non-violent relationship.
- Download the RUSafe app to get advice and locate agencies nationwide.
- Encourage them to call SafeNet's hotline for free, confidential services. An advocate will help them develop a safety plan.
You can be the difference between the despair they know and the help they need.
