Heus Abbas from Ermine Spot (July 1996): [Ermine] Latin anyone?

I found this online and it brought back many fond memories of when this was first performed at a Society for Creative Anachronism  (SCA). I think it was the very late 80’s.) Alfredo and his lady did this for the 2nd princess of Aethelmearc.

Around 1990, the local Shire of Stormsport put on a demo at the South Erie Turners. I seem to recall that Cerise did Abbot and my friend Paula did the Costello lines. It went over okay. (Memo to self: comedy schtick with half the lines in Latin may not have as wide appeal as one might hope.) I seem to recall that Alexander Caithnes and Tristan demonstrated fighting, and then we did English Country Dance, which had some audience participation. Good times!

The sketch is pure geekiness, nerdy fun and incredibly clever.

I got this from someone on the Atlantian list that he and his wife wrote/performed and thought y’all (yes, Maryland is below the Mason-Dixon line, why do you ask?) might be amused. Btw, Meadhbh, if you use it, you might check and make sure with:

                        Alfredo il Buffon  (I think that's spelt write)
edh@ascc01.ascc.lucent.com
-Virgil
==============================================================================

"Ignoro" is Latin for "I don’t know". The dialog went on something like this:

1. When I first heard her Excellency’s name, "Hodierna," I thought, "Isn’t that the Latin word for ‘today’?" Of course, I was wrong. The Latin word for "today" is "hodie." "Hodierna" is the feminine form of "hodiernus," which means "today’s," as in "today’s paper." But her name piqued my curiosity, so I ransacked the library until I found what I think is the earliest mention of the name "Hodierna" in the Period.
2. Since it was written down in the form of a dialogue, we’ve decided to perform it.
3. Now the entire dialogue is in Latin —
4. – but we’ve translated it into English.
5. – so you’ll just have to bear wi– What do you mean, "we’ve translated it into English?"
6. What word didn’t you understand? You found this dialogue of a man and a woman talking in Latin, and we decided that I would translate the Lady’s part, and you — You did remember to translate the abbot’s lines didn’t you?
7. Well, maybe "remember" is too strong a word.
8. Now what are we gonna do?
9. How about if you perform your part in English, and I’ll perform my part in Latin. This is an intelligent crowd; they’ll figure it out.
10. All right, but don’t blame me if this doesn’t work.
11. So, imagine, if you will, that I am an Italian abbot, walking down an equally Italian street, in a small principality in the north of Italy.
12. And imagine that I am a Norman noblewoman visiting from England.
13. And imagine that we are both speaking in Latin. We begin …

      HEUS ABBAS M: Hey, Abbot!

1. Salve, o mea domina. Possumne esse auxilio tibi?
2. Yes, you can be of some assistance to me. Please tell me the names of the nobility in your principality so when I go see them in court I’ll be able to know those fellows.
3. Ita, te docebo. Tamen, incredible auditu, ridiculissima nomina nobiles hodie habent.
4. You say the nobles have funny names nowadays?
5. Ita, ridicula nomina. In nostro principalitate, Quis est princeps, Quid est dux, Ignoro est vicecomes, —
6. Do you know the fellows’ names?
7. Ita.
8. Well then, who is the prince?
9. Ita.
10. I mean, the name of the prince.
11. Quis.
12. The prince.
13. Quis est princeps.
14. Well, what are you asking me for?
15. Non te quaero, immo, te dico. QUIS EST PRINCEPS.
16. I’m asking you. Who’s the prince?
17. Illud est viri nomen.
18. That’s who’s name?
19. Ita.
20. Well, go ahead and tell me his name.
21. Quis.
22. The prince.
23. Quis.
24. The principal man in the principality.
25. Quis est princeps.
26. Does this principality have a prince?
27. Certe.
28. And who is the prince?
29. Absolute.
30. Who wears the princely coronet?
31. Ita. Dignus eo vir est.
32. Who is entitled to it?
33. Ita.
34. Well, all I’m trying to find out is, what’s the prince’s name?
35. Oh, non, non. Quid est nomen ducis.
36. I’m not asking you who’s the duke.
37. Quis est princeps.
38. That’s what I’m trying to find out.
39. Ergo, noli nomina mutare.
40. I’m not changing their names!
41. Defervesce.
42. All right, I’ll calm down. Now, what is the prince’s name?
43. Quid est nomen ducis.
44. I’m not asking you who’s the duke.
45. Quis est princeps.
46. I don’t know.
47. Ille est vicecomes. De illo non dicimus.
48. I know we’re not talking about the viscount.
49. Mentionem vicecomites fecisti.
50. If I just mentioned the viscount, who did I say was the viscount?
51. Non. Quis est princeps.
52. That’s what I want to know: What is the prince’s name?
53. Quid est nomen ducis.
54. I’m not asking you who’s the duke.
55. Quis est princeps.
56. I don’t know.
57. Ille est vicecomes.
58. There we go with the viscount again.
59. Non possum mutare nomina.
60. I don’t want you to change their names, just tell me their names. Since we’re on the subject of the viscount, how about telling me his name.
61. Ignoro.
62. I thought you knew the names of all of the noblemen.
63. Ita. Omnium nobilium.
64. But when I asked you the name of the viscount just now, you said, "I don’t know."
65. Ita. Ignoro.
66. Is the viscount a nobleman?
67. Ita.
68. Do you know the names of all the noblemen?
69. Ita.
70. Then, what is the viscount’s name?
71. Quid est nomen ducis.
72. I’m not asking you who’s the duke!
73. Quis est princeps.
74. I don’t know.

A&M: The viscount.

M: Does the viscount have a wife?

1. Ita.
2. She’s the viscountess, right?
3. Correcte mundo.
4. Please tell me her name.
5. Cur.
6. Well, I just thought I’d ask.
7. Ergo, ego statuo te dicere.
8. Then go ahead and tell me, who is the viscountess.
9. Ausculta, mea domina. Quis non est vicecomitessa. Quis est —
10. I’ll break your arm if you say, "Who’s the prince?"
11. Mea domina!
12. Forgive me, your Eminence.
13. Tibi veniam do.
14. Thank you. Now, what’s the viscountess’s name?
15. Quid est ducis nomen.
16. I’m not asking you who’s the duke!
17. Quis est princeps.
18. I don’t know.

A&M: The viscount!

1. Defervesce, defervesce, mea domina.
2. All right, I’ll calm down. I’m calm. Now tell me the viscountess’s name.
3. Cur.
4. Because.
5. Est episcopus.
6. The bishop!
7. Noli vexari, mea domina.
8. All right, all right. Will there be any knights in court?
9. Certe.
10. Tell me the name of the first knight of the realm. The most experienced knight. The one with the strongest —
11. Cras.
12. Pardon me? Did you just say "tomorrow"?
13. Ita, Cras.
14. You don’t want to tell me now?
15. Etiam nunc te dico.
16. Then go ahead.
17. Cras.
18. What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me?
19. Nune te dico.
20. Then what is the knight’s name?
21. Quid est nomen ducis.
22. I’m not asking you who’s the duke!
23. Quis est princeps.
24. I don’t know.

A&M: The viscount.

M: Is there a princess?

1. Ita.
2. And her name?
3. Hodierna Principessa.
4. Today’s princess! And tomorrow, knight!
5. Nunc vera dicis.
6. Now, I’m right, huh? You have a couple of days in your court, that’s all.
7. Fieri non potest aliter.
8. Does this court have a herald?
9. Certe. Praeco habendus est.
10. All right. Don’t try to tell me his name. I don’t want to know. Now, I have pretty loud voice, right?
11. Oh, certe magnam vocam habes. Summam vocam. De tua magna voce non est disputandum.
12. A simple "yes" would suffice. Let’s say I use my voice as herald at your principality’s court.
13. Plerumque praeco est indigena.
14. Yes, I’m sure the herald usually is a native but let’s just suppose, okay? I’m in a subjunctive mood now.
15. Ut libet.
16. Okay, so I’m the herald, and court is about to begin, so I say, "All rise for –" who?
17. Nune vera dicis.
18. I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT.
19. Est usitata formula.
20. That’s the standard formula around here? "All rise for who"?
21. Ita.
22. So I say that, and who comes in?
23. Certe.
24. And who sits on the throne?
25. Certe.
26. Certainly.
27. Certe.
28. Okay.
29. Nunc comprendis.
30. So Certainly comes in …
31. Non, non. Princeps introit.
32. Then who sits on the throne?
33. Certe.
34. Okay. So Certainly comes in …
35. Non. Quis introit.
36. Certainly.
37. Ita.
38. So, I announce the prince, and Certainly sits down on the throne, —
39. Non. Tu pronuntias principem, —
40. And who sits on the throne?
41. Certe.
42. That’s what I’m saying.
43. Non sic dicis tu.
44. Certainly sits on the throne.
45. In solio sedet Quis.
46. Certainly.
47. Certe. Ergo, dic sic.
48. That’s what I’m saying!
49. Defervesce, defervesce.
50. I announce the prince.
51. Et Quis in solio sedet.
52. He better sit there!
53. Defervesce.
54. So I announce the prince, and whoever he is comes in with today’s princess. They want to see the chivalry, so I call for what and tomorrow and I don’t know — a triple play.
55. Fieri potest.
56. Then the prince asks me to summon the viscount and his wife. Why? I don’t know. And I don’t give a damn.
57. Visne illud iterare?
58. I said, "I don’t give a damn!"
59. Oh, that’s our king!

Ermine Spot (July 1996): [Ermine] Latin anyone?