I need to insert some sort of chimp/pimp joke. (Lancelot Link, Secret Pimp? If the males contract some sort of groin infection with red, itchy skin, are they The Apes of Rash, with all apologies to John Steinbeck?) Yes, I know it's the wrong species and these are monkeys, not apes.). Hmm, I just realized what "macaque" sort of sounds like if you say it out loud (apparently, the second syllable sort of rhymes with "dock", I think.)
Apparently, it is possible to have hot monkey sex, but it comes with a price tag. And I am definitely thinking of the Gary Larson cartoon with the female gorilla grooming her husband and saying "Well. Another blonde hair. Doing more 'research' with that Jane Goodall tramp?"
Do Monkeys Pay for Sex?
Monday, Jan. 07, 2008 By KRISTA MAHR
A group of Long-tailed Macaques
Norbert Rosing / National Geographic / Getty
It turns out that one of humanity's oldest professions may be even older than we thought: In a recent study of macaque monkeys in Indonesia, researchers found that male primates "paid" for sexual access to females — and that the going rate for such access dwindled as the number of available females went up.
Do Monkeys Pay for Sex? - TIME
What type of currency do you think monkeys use? Is there an exchange rate for the US Dollar? Haha.
Shame on me for missing this one:
Whore-angutang.
Thank you and tip your waiter! I'm here all week!