The headline read Bainimarama announces coup. Really, it did! However, I was glancing and I thought it said "Banarama announces coup," and my first thoughts was that somehow an 80's girl group had taken over Fiji. Poor natives would doubtless be forced to belt out, "I'm Your Venus" with big 80's hair. However, maybe Thomas Dolby woud have restored order by blinding them with science, thus squelching the coup.
I seriously need to get a life. And the actual events that are transpiring in Fji sound ominous and pretty heinous, so sorry for the silly tangent. The actual name is Commodore Frank Bainimarama.
You version sounds much scarier.