Okay, this is just my odd brain. I went shopping and noticed a sign saying:
"Closed for Easter so that our staff can spend time with their families"
Which I thought needed to be continued with something like:
"Well, except for Bob, who seems to have some pretty major intimacy issues. Marcy is just hoping that her mom doesn't get roaring drunk and acting rude and mean while her father tries to pretend that everything is just fine, but you can see the sadness in his eyes as he rapidly blinks, fighting back hot tears of shame. Oh, and John who will have to endure his parents ragging on him for flunking out of college, and now he's just a bag boy, and maybe is he didn't need a doobie or three to make it through the day, he might be a bit more of a success like his self-satisfied brother Bill, whom Mom always loved best anyway. Like they all couldn't see that."
"H,,, maybe not old Ralph, who is just really creepy and weird. Sheila in seafood thinks that someday they are going to find corpses stacked like cordwood in his basement or something equally grim and horrific, but Sheila reads too many of the tabloids and thinks the Weekly World News is totally for real."
"Mark the manager is going to endure another dinner with his family with everyone covering up the fact that they all feel alien and dead inside, and his wife is planning on leaving him for his sleazy brother, which is probably the worst mistake she could make, but the dumb bitch probably deserves that lame-ass loser. It's just sad that the kids will suffer so much."
"Where were we? Oh yeah, we're closed tomorrow. Get that quart of milk somewhere else, because we will be facing awkward silences and barely concealed hostility or maybe just a cold gray feeling that maybe I will die alone and no one will ever care."
"Happy holidays!"
That was hysterical! The best part is that is so true. I worked at a grocery store when I was in college and you must have too because you have all the characters down to a T. Thanks for my laugh for the day.
Thanks for the kudos! Actually, I have never worked in a grocery store, but I figure that there is usually lots more going on than appears on the surface.