Theatre and getting back on track

I have been hideously overwhelmed the past few weeks with completing the newsletter, and final rehearsals for Dracula. Work has also been busy. Fortunately, things have started settling down.
The odd part for me in Dracula is being a real life Pagan who plays a character who whips out crosses and Eucharist at the drop of a hat.
So, we open on Thursday. I gather up the crucifix after a scene, and discover that Jesus’ arm is broken, and if I don’t hold him by the feet, He will sway back and forth, which would NOT be the mood we are going for. I gave it to Mike, the guy who handles the hardware stuff, who took it off, so I had a plain simple cross to wield a few moments later.
By the way, Mike wasn’t able to repair the Jesus figure with super glue, and currently has it back stage held together with black electrical tape. When I looked at it, I thought it looked like Jesus was wearing a stole, and needed only a pill box hat and pearl earrings/necklace to complete the ensemble. Very Jackie O.
The night after that, I managed to yank the transfusion tubes out of the sleeves of 2 characters while dashing off stage. The tubes are a minor plot point, so I had to quickly tuck them back in as unobtrusively as possible while trying valiantly NOT to conjure up the image of the old Saturday Night Live of Dan Ackroyd as Julie Child accidentally hemorrhaging to death (*”And remember, save the livers’)
I figured that I was done with religious object malfunctions. How wrong I was! Last night, I remembered to grab the cross as I dashed off stage and NOT dislodge the transfusion tubes. Yay for me. When I got back on, there is a scene where Van Helsing confronts Dracula after the rest of the cast has been knocked out.
Bravely, I brandished the cross (which had been a crucifix 2 nights before.) Unfortunately, the top bar of the cross chose that moment to fly off and land on stage. Small giggles from the audience, and I had to stuggle not to guffaw. I grabbed the piece and we just continued. (Although, at that point the object in my hand had chnaged to a wooden stake, effectively, so I was still covered.)
The funny thing is that originally the script called for the cross to burst into flames. I am guessing that this may very well happen at the rate that we are going, regardless of whether we arrange for any special effects.
Do you see now why Pagans should not wield Christian religous objects? The Goddess has a very puckish sense of humor.